Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
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