just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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