You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
