Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We left an ass print on the piano.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
