So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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