Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Randomize
