I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
