her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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