Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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