my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
