No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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