I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Its about making memories worth repressing
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize