eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
