I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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