I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
