Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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