She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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