im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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