Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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