I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
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