We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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