why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
