Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
