She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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