I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
