My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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