You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize