wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
