she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
