I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
