I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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