there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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