she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
