i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
