I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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