I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
