Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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