If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
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