So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
