I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
