Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
