She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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