woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
