batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
