I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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