THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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