Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
