oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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