It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
