so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Bring me that man meat
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
