I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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