I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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