dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
