So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You were trust falling into bushes
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