Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
